1.5/5 Review

Green Soldiers Heroes Review

You get fifteen minutes of on-rails shooting where you don’t get to move or even aim - not really. Green Soldiers Heroes does all of this for you, whether you like it or not.

Heavy Burden Review

We implore you: read the myth of Sisyphus or snuggle up with the works of Camus instead. Heavy Burden is no way to brush up on either.

The Super Penguboy Review

It may have a penguin on the cover, but The Super Penguboy is a lame duck.

Skull Island: Rise of Kong Review

Skull Island: Rise of Kong is a turd. It’s a turd the size of which Kong would be proud.

Cyber Citizen Shockman 2: A New Menace Review

Lacking the novel concepts of the first game, Cyber Citizen Shockman 2: A New Menace feels very run-of-the-mill as a result.

Escape From Terror City Review

Escape From Terror City looks bad, plays very poorly, and is about as much fun as trapping your fingers in a door.

Fool’s Paradise – Film Review

We can’t fathom how the screenplay for Fool’s Paradise could have been worked on for decades.

Sapu Review

If you’ve ever wondered what early game builds might be like, play Sapu.

XEL Review

For the good - the visuals, audio, navigation of paths and occasional combat moments - there are tens of things in XEL that will hold you back.

Children of the Corn (2023) – Film Review

Children of the Corn (2023) is just about the least horrifying of horror movies that we’ve watched in the past few years.

Gnomes Garden 8: Return of the Queen Review

What we’re left with is half a game. Gnomes Garden 8: Return of the Queen stops abruptly halfway, thanks to a critical save bug, and it’s a flip of a coin whether you will emerge with your save game in one piece afterwards. At the moment it’s a no-brainer - don’t dare play this. Wait and see if 8floor address the issue.

Hypnotic – Film Review

We stopped caring as reality after reality was proven to be fake, until we reached the point where Hypnotic became an unwitting comedy.

Greyhill Incident Review

Greyhill Incident feels like an unfortunate swing and a miss at a hugely underused slice of horror. Using Greys as a threat should make for a rather tense and scary alien abduction experience, but whilst Greyhill Incident is indeed horrific, sadly it is done so in all the wrong ways.

Age of Solitaire: Build Civilization Review

Age of Solitaire: Build Civilization is one of the best-looking solitaire games we’ve played, but it’s a fancy wrapper on some unmitigated tosh. 

Blacksmith Forger Review

If Blacksmith Forger was a free-to-play mobile game, we’d be complaining about the lack of material. You could barely make some tinfoil out of it. When there are dozens of alternatives for Overcooked!-style games, you’d have to be desperate to pick Blacksmith Forger out of the line-up.

90” Soccer Review

The 90 seconds is less about the length of matches, and more about its shelf life. You’re going to retire 90” Soccer faster than you can say Jack Wilshere.

Sentry Paragon Review

Sentry Paragon feels like a cash grab in the worst possible way.

CyberHeroes Arena DX Review

You’d be best off avoiding CyberHeroes Arena DX and spending your time with Vampire Survivors instead.

Legendary Heroes Review

If Legendary Heroes was a fun, dynamic MOBA, all of the grindy free-to-play balancing and legacy systems might have been forgivable. But it really isn’t.

Touchdown Pinball Review

You can’t argue with the price of Touchdown Pinball, but it very much feels like a case of getting what you pay for.

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