After years of bizarre trailers, raised eyebrows and plenty of strange reactions, Priest Simulator: Vampire Show has finally arrived on Xbox Series X|S.
Previously released on PC through Steam and PlayStation, this utterly chaotic sandbox shooter from Ultimate Games and developers Asmodev throws players into a deeply strange version of modern Poland, complete with vampire priests, demonic possessions, black metal upgrades and what may genuinely be one of the weirdest English dubs in gaming.
At A Glance
- Title: Priest Simulator: Vampire Show
- Publisher: Ultimate Games
- Developers: Asmodev, Ultimate Games
- Platforms: Xbox Series X|S
- Price: £16.74 (Standard Edition)
A Vampire Priest, A Broken Church And Total Madness
You play as a vampire priest attempting to reclaim his lost batoon and return to Hell, all while defending the town of San de Ville from shatanists, demonic forces and villagers suffering from possessions thanks to cursed totems.
The whole thing is framed like a mockumentary, leaning heavily into absurd humour, intentionally awkward dubbing and over-the-top sandbox action. One minute you’re dual-wielding ridiculous weapons against infernal monsters, the next you’re renovating a crumbling church and boosting the town’s faith levels through sermons and confessions.
Weapons, Exorcisms And Black Metal Upgrades
Underneath all the madness is a fairly substantial action game too.
Players can combine two weapons at once from a selection of eight divine arms, upgrade abilities using black metal resources and customise their approach to combat while exploring the bizarre open areas around San de Ville.
There’s also a full church restoration system in play, allowing you to renovate the temple, unlock attractions and slowly turn the place from abandoned ruin into something slightly more respectable.
Exorcisms play a major role too, as possessed villagers require saving from the chaos unleashed by demonic artefacts scattered throughout the town. It sounds ridiculous because it absolutely is, but that unpredictability appears to be the game’s biggest strength.
DLC And Bundles Available
Xbox players jumping into Priest Simulator also have a few extra options available at launch.
The Priest Simulator: Her Ghost DLC costs £2.49 and continues the story after completion of the main campaign, adding fresh dialogue, cutscenes and additional exorcisms involving a troublesome tooth fairy.
There’s also the Priest Simulator: Splendor Set for £18.49, bundling together the base game and DLC.
And for those wanting maximum chaos, the Priest Simulator x Crime Simulator Bundle combines Vampire Show with the previously released Crime Simulator for £29.24.
A Long Time Coming
We first covered Priest Simulator all the way back in 2021 when the game was originally announced for consoles, and it’s impressive that something this unapologetically strange has actually made it to release intact.
It may not be for everyone, but that’s clearly not what the developers are aiming for here.
Priest Simulator: Vampire Show from the Xbox Store looks like the kind of game built specifically for players who enjoy weird Eurojank, offbeat humour and sandbox chaos that feels like it could completely fall apart at any second.
