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WE ARE DOOMED Review

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When you hear the words ‘twin-stick shooter’, you will no doubt be immediately reminded of the Geometry Wars series of games. A genre leader from the moment it first appeared on our Xbox’s, it’s been a hit right through to the recent release of Geometry Wars 3: Dimension Evolved.

Anything that even attempts to go up against the might of Geo Wars is going to need to be something pretty special. Is that the case for WE ARE DOOMED or can it hold its own in the market even alongside such a big hitter?

Well, let’s get one thing straight. It’s no Geo Wars, but that’s not to say it’s complete rubbish.

we are doomed pic 3

What we are looking at with WE ARE DOOMED (Yep, I’m not sure I like the capitals either but that’s the way it is), is a twin stick arena shooter filled with pure arcade action.

There are no cut-scenes, there is no story and there is very little in the way of a tutorial. Pick up a controller and Vertex Pop will give you the opportunity to blast away to your heart’s content as you attempt to battle through 30 waves of polygon enemies that range from the standard floater, to some fast-paced on rails baddies to others which fire huge fireballs your way. All can be defeated with a decent plan and it’s only when the sheer numbers of enemies fill the screen do things get really tricky.

You’ll need to destroy everything set out in front of you and to do so you have a laserbeam that is hugely overpowered and destroys near on everything it touches with a quick flick of the right stick. It’s not as precise as the weaponry found in GW3 (sorry to keep harking back to that) and you’ll find no Supers or additional perks to help you on your way. In fact, the only thing that will change throughout the gameplay is when you collect enough floating ‘trinkets’ in order to power your laserbeam up enough to ‘superbeam’ status. These appear on screen seemingly randomly and once you’ve acquired enough, a quick hold of the trigger button fires up this immense weapon and easily destroys everything on screen in a second or two. Which is good, because the superbeam lasts for little longer than that itself; after which you’ll need to start collecting those darn trinkets again.

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WE ARE DOOMED is beautiful to look at with colours and shapes exploding on the screen during every millisecond you are playing, but the sheer amount going on can sometimes be its downfall. That is no more true than in the endless mode where there are so many enemies and explosions going on at any one time, that your high score depends entirely on luck as opposed to your ship steering skills. Five lives really don’t last very long at all and if you let the focus drop for even a second, you’ll quickly find yourself starting right back at the beginning again. Thankfully some nicely included checkpoints ensure that once you hit a certain level, you’ll be able to take in the action from that point once again.

However, a lovely backing track that pounds away to your every shot and collection of trinkets brings the whole world to life no matter how long you play for. But unfortunately the lack of depth to the game ensures that you don’t really find yourself playing for too long at a time. WE ARE DOOMED may be sold on its simplicity but it is also that simple form which ultimately lets the whole thing down.

Two games modes – wave and endless – in a modern game just isn’t enough, especially when there is very little else to bother collecting or aiming for. You are scored solely on how many enemies you destroy, and how many trinkets you collect and so once you hit level 30 and come to the end of the wave mode, then going for some of the super hard achievements is the only real thing that’ll keep you going. With some of the cheevos looking like rage inducing contenders, then I’m not sure they will tempt many in either.

we are doomed pic 4

WE ARE DOOMED really is a ‘just one more go’ game but I’m afraid that once you’ve hit that magical wave 30, then there is going to be nothing left for you to have one more go on. The endless mode is more of a ball-ache than it should be and with no other modes, objectives or powerups to go for, means that after only a few hours, you’ll just about be begging for something else to do. The only real saving grace is if you find a number of friends playing the game as well because then you’ll get the chance to go chasing their leaderboard scores.

But without that, then you’ll be firing up Geometry Wars 3: Dimensions Evolved once again as that brings so much more to the party.

WE ARE DOOMED isn’t doomed, but it lives in a arena-shooting world that is dominated by one real big hitter.

And that’s always going to be a bit of a struggle.

 

Neil Watton
Neil Wattonhttps://www.thexboxhub.com/
An Xbox gamer since 2002, I bought the big black box just to play Oddworld: Munch's Oddysee. I have since loved every second of the 360's life and am now just as obsessed with the Xbox One and Xbox Series X|S - mostly with the brilliant indie scene that has come to the fore. Gamertag is neil363, feel free to add me to your list.

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8 years ago

[…] Neil Watton (neil363) When you hear the words twin-stick shooter, you will no doubt be immediately reminded of the […]

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