1.5/5 Review

There's hardly any action to get stuck into in Cilla, the story is poorly presented, running a twist that can be seen a mile away and it doesn’t look great.

99p or not, a broken game is a broken game. And that means Mr Trials should be avoided at all costs.

Master Maker 3D Ultimate is the ultimate example of how not to make a game.

You get fifteen minutes of on-rails shooting where you don’t get to move or even aim - not really. Green Soldiers Heroes does all of this for you, whether you like it or not.

We implore you: read the myth of Sisyphus or snuggle up with the works of Camus instead. Heavy Burden is no way to brush up on either.

It may have a penguin on the cover, but The Super Penguboy is a lame duck.

Skull Island: Rise of Kong is a turd. It’s a turd the size of which Kong would be proud.

Lacking the novel concepts of the first game, Cyber Citizen Shockman 2: A New Menace feels very run-of-the-mill as a result.

Escape From Terror City looks bad, plays very poorly, and is about as much fun as trapping your fingers in a door.

We can’t fathom how the screenplay for Fool’s Paradise could have been worked on for decades.

If you’ve ever wondered what early game builds might be like, play Sapu.

For the good - the visuals, audio, navigation of paths and occasional combat moments - there are tens of things in XEL that will hold you back.

Children of the Corn (2023) is just about the least horrifying of horror movies that we’ve watched in the past few years.

What we’re left with is half a game. Gnomes Garden 8: Return of the Queen stops abruptly halfway, thanks to a critical save bug, and it’s a flip of a coin whether you will emerge with your save game in one piece afterwards. At the moment it’s a no-brainer - don’t dare play this. Wait and see if 8floor address the issue.

We stopped caring as reality after reality was proven to be fake, until we reached the point where Hypnotic became an unwitting comedy.