Every achievement hunter knows that there is nothing more satisfying than finally unlocking that one achievement that has bothered you for hours. Occasionally though, you’ll happen to stumble across an Xbox achievement where you’ll have to bring your A-game. These are the achievements that separate the boys from the men. They require focus, extreme patience and tons of practice, and are definitely not for the faint hearted. This list details ten of them.

Before we jump in, I should point out that this list isn’t going to include the achievements that will take you hundreds of hours simply because of the amount of grind you’ll have to go through. So you won’t find any of the Seriously . . . achievements from the Gears of War series here. Also I’m not claiming these are the hardest achievements ever, as there are undoubtedly others that are more difficult that I just haven’t stumbled across. And the concept of difficulty is subjective anyway, so others might find the achievements on this list easy as pie (don’t bank on it though!).


The Flapmaster (30G)

Goat Simulator

goat sim header

For a few weeks in early 2014, Flappy Bird was the hottest mobile game going. Its premise was simple: flap between sets of green pipes for as long as possible, die, repeat. The game was extremely addictive. However the steep difficulty and horrible hit detection made it extremely frustrating as well. It’s dead and gone now, removed from the App Store many years ago. Fear not though, because its legacy lives on through various crappy clones.

Goat Simulator was released not long after the craze and it includes within it a game-within-a-game clone suitably named ‘Flappy Goat’. And it captures the real essence of the original in that it is extremely frustrating and poorly built. The hit detection is horrible, and there is a nasty tendency for the game to drop your inputs. As you’ve probably deduced, there is an achievement tied to this. The Flapmaster asks you to simply score ten points in ‘Flappy Bird’ which is no small task considering the problems I’ve just mentioned.


Mile High Club (20G)

Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare and Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Remastered

call of duty Modern Warfare Remastered

One of the best entries in the Call of Duty franchise is also home to probably the most notorious achievement on this list. Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare’s Mile High Club has long been a source of frustration and rage for gamers.

You’re given just one minute to clear an airplane full of terrorists and rescue the hostage. On the hardest difficulty. The recipe for success here is to keep moving, use your flashbangs at the right moments and don’t get shot in the back. Even if you master all those three things, you’re still not guaranteed success because then you have to save the hostage. If you accidentally shoot him in the face, then you’ll automatically fail and have to restart from the beginning.

And because of the release of Modern Warfare Remastered a few years ago, Mile High Club is back for round two. Great news! Now you can ‘enjoy’ earning this achievement all over again on your Xbox One.


No One Will Believe You (50G)

Call of Duty: Black Ops III

call of duty black ops 3

Over the years, Call of Duty’s campaigns have been getting easier and easier. Go and play World at War on Veteran difficulty and you’ll see what I mean. However with the release of Black Ops III, Treyarch decided to reverse the trend and included a new difficulty named ‘Realistic’. On this mode, if you’re hit by one bullet, you’ll die. Yes you read that right. Essentially, that means you’ll be spending a lot of time dying. There is absolutely no chance you’ll be able to sprint to the next checkpoint or brute force your way through. Extreme patience is the name of the game here.

Annoyingly, you’ll need to do this if you want the Personal Decorator achievement which tasks you with unlocking all twelve decorations. Put simply, it’s a massive grind. Aside from beating the campaign on realistic, you’ll also need to complete all range of other ridiculous tasks. These include earning hundreds of weapons, camos and attachments as well as racking up thousands of kills.


24 carats Gold challenger (90G)

Steep

steep extreme

If you want to earn Steep’s 24 carats Gold challenger, then you’ll need to pretty much become king of the Alps. The achievement asks you to win 115 gold medals. Originally, that meant earning all gold medals, but Ubisoft added three new events last year bringing the total to 118. Even though you can now skip three of the toughest events, you’ll still have to suffer through some extremely events. You’re also going to need to master all four disciplines in the game: skiing, snowboarding, paragliding and wingsuit flying. There’s also the g-force system to contend with, which can be really unforgiving.

What makes this achievement even harder is the fact that the game is always online, which means you can’t pause. If you are unfortunate enough to tap the start button, you’ll be dumped back at the start of the event and will have to try again. There are no checkpoints or a rewind feature either. So if you hit a tree (which will happen a lot) or knock yourself out or jump over a checkpoint, then back to the beginning you go. It doesn’t help that some events have you racing through endless forests at breakneck speeds against very good AI, where your reactions will be pushed to the limit.


Dreamcatcher (50G)

Tumblestone

tumblestone 8

Tumblestone is a charming indie puzzler, with a fun art style and challenging levels. It’s essentially a match-three game with some extra mechanics thrown in that will really force you to think about your moves before you make them.

However, all of that goes out of the window with the Dreamcatcher achievement, which asks you to beat three nightmare bots in a battle match. It’s a straight race to 50 points. And there’s really no time for thinking because the bots are on steroids. And every successful move your opponents make pushes more and more blocks onto your board. As do any wrong moves you make. If your board fills, you’ll have to wait a good few seconds for it to reset, by which time the bots will be long gone.

To really have any hope at achieving this, you’ll need to be extremely precise and extremely fast in your moves. One wrong move will destroy your run.


Is There Anything You Can’t Do? (150G)

Trials Fusion

trials fusion

This achievement is reserved for only the very best Trials players. You may remember the Marathon achievement from Trials HD that caused a lot of trouble for riders way back when. Well that doesn’t even hold a candle to this achievement, which is awarded when a player manages to complete all 120 challenges.

Like Steep, a lot of the challenges aren’t too hard. A fair few involve finding secret areas, hitting switches or uncovering easter eggs. Others will have you performing stunts, or limit you to a certain type of bike. But things take a turn for the brutal when you get to the extreme courses. On one course, for example, you’re expected to finish it with zero faults. On another, you have to do this again, but also manage to do five flips as well. But the king of these challenges, the suitably named Be On with the Bike, asks you to complete Inferno IV, the hardest track in the game by the way, whilst your bike is invisible. Madness.


A Very Troubled Youngster (35G)

Green Day: Rock Band

green day rock band xbox

The Rock Band games have always come with some insane achievements. Rock Band 2 had The Bladder of Steel Award achievement, which asked you to play all 84 songs on the disc in a row without pausing or failing. That works out to around six hours of nonstop playing if you’re wondering. Rock Band 3 upped the ante even further with Is This Just Fantasy? For this one, you and two friends will have to nail Bohemian Rhapsody. Can you sing like Freddy Mercury? I can’t.

But A Very Troubled Youngster from Green Day: Rock Band stands on top of the podium as the champion of Rock Band achievements. To earn it, you’ll need to master 74 drum solos from some of best Green Day songs. They start off pretty simple. But all that does is pull you into a false sense of security before the game throws some of the most difficult tracks ever put into a rhythm game at you.

You’ll need to be a master Rock Band drummer if you ever want to earn this.


Wave 100 (45G)

Robotron: 2084

robotron 2084

Robotron: 2084 was a classic arcade game from the 1980s. Set in the future, the premise was simple. Kill the robots, save the humans, earn lots of points in the process. Sounds simple right? Well, like a lot of the games from that era, it was brutally difficult. The game first appeared on the XBLA all the way back in 2005, but this time it had twelve achievements for all would-be saviours of humanity to earn. And without a doubt, the hardest of the bunch is the Wave 100 achievement which asks you to reach Wave 100.

Now getting the Wave 30 achievement is hard enough, but this one is a completely different beast. The robots you’ll need to kill only increase as the waves tick by and you will quickly find yourself swamped by countless enemies if you aren’t careful. There’s no real strategy that guarantees you success either. On some waves, you’ll have to stay close to the walls, other times you’ll be ducking and diving all over the place. One final thing you’ll need to look out for is humans. They give points, and points mean more lives for you. Trust me, you’re going to need them.

In all honestly, you’ll probably need to be prepared to put months of practice into this game to even come close to that mythical one-hundredth wave. Unfortunately though, the only thing harder than Wave 100 is actually managing to find a copy of the game to play. It’s not on the XBLA store anymore and hasn’t been for years at this point. Shame.


Mein Leben (30G)

Wolfenstein II: The New Colossus

wolfenstein

If you want this achievement, you’ll have to finish the game at Mein Leben difficulty. But if you thought Black Ops III’s realistic difficulty was tough, then you’re in for a rude awakening. Here, you’re given one life. Just one. That’s for the whole game by the way. You can’t save either. And the hardest part of the game, the courtroom level, doesn’t come until hours into your playthrough. If you end up dying, then you’ll have to do it all over again.

Hey, at least you can pause right?

So, to recap you need to beat a 15 hour game, in one sitting, without dying once, on the hardest difficulty. This is probably the hardest achievement of the current generation. So, if you’re mental enough to even attempt this, then all I can say is practice, practice, practice.


Shenanigans (20G)

Cloudberry Kingdom

cloudberry kingdom xbox

This is the hardest achievement, maybe ever. The number of people who have earned this is probably less than fifty. It’s so hard that one of the developers for the game offered a $1000 dollar prize for the first person to unlock it when the game first released in 2013.

You wouldn’t think the Shenanigans achievement would be all that hard considering the achievement description simply asks you to beat chapter 7. That’s 320 levels, but for the most part they are very short. So where does the problem lie? Well, Level 319 is practically impossible and Level 320 is even worse. 319 is about a minute long, and features hundreds of obstacles that you’ll have to duck and weave through. And then if that wasn’t enough, 320 is even longer and has even more obstacles for you to struggle through.

A large part of the reason for the difficulty is the game’s unique system where levels are procedurally generated and based on your skill level. Basically, you won’t be playing the same level twice. There seems to be limits to what the AI can do, but these appear to have been turned off for the last two levels. The result is an almost impossible labyrinth of fireballs, lasers and platforms.

Another consequence of this system is that you won’t be able to use a guide to help you. The only help you’re really going to get is from the demonstration the AI gives you to show you how to pass the level. But at such a high difficulty it’s practically worthless. All you can do is watch in awe as the computer nails pixel perfect jumps and puts you to shame.

Good luck.


So, have you managed to grab any of these ridiculously hard Xbox achievements? Are there any which have been causing you trouble? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

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