So, 2017 is at the halfway point and we’ve seen a whole host of games cross our paths throughout the first six months of the year. There have been great games, there have been good games and there have been average games. But, for one reason or another, there have also been games that are crap, utterly disgusting affairs that are not worth anyone’s time.
Bluntly put, if you’ve got any of the six games found below in your digital Xbox One library, you should be ready to burn your hard drive at the earliest opportunity.
Firefighters – The Simulation
Admit it, you always wanted to be a firefighter. What better way to see that dream come true than by experiencing everything that is good about the job than with Firefighters – The Sim. Well, let me tell you, there are a number of things that are way better then spending even a minute of your life with this ‘game’.
The pain that Firefighters – The Simulation brings you will all start the second you get to look at the terrible visuals on show. With graphics that would just about be bearable a couple of decades ago, and a frame rate that drops at every opportunity, it must be said that Firefighters is not much of a looker.
But then, it’s not much of an anything really – other than one big mess – and the repetitive, hugely unrealistic gameplay and numerous glitches and bugs that are present will ensure your dream of wanting to become a firefighter is swiftly rethought.
Unless of course you fancy fighting invisible fires for a living?
Twin stick shooting is fine. Randomly generated levels are great. A ton of fun audio lines are brilliant. It’s even good to see a game making fun of those 1980s movies we all grew up with.
The problem with Tango Fiesta however is in its execution. Its poor, poor execution.
Full of bugs, glitches, game crashes and dumb AI, Tango Fiesta never ever lets you enjoy the short run that it brings. The visuals aren’t great either, and although the inclusion of randomly generated levels and local multiplayer action allows the twin stick shooting fan something a little different, the negatives far outweigh the positives.
Even Arnie’s Uzi 9mm references cannot save the day for Tango Fiesta.
Friday the 13th: The Game
If there was one game on this list that garnered a huge amount of interest before its launch, Friday the 13th: The Game was it.
But oh boy, how we wished the hype hadn’t been built up.
Server errors, massive connection issues and a lack of people playing the 4v1 online multiplayer title, ensured that Friday the 13th: The Game had an initial dodgy start. But even then, after a patch dropped to ‘fix’ the issues, problems were still in place.
And that’s a massive shame as the opportunity to get into the head of the iconic Jason, or one of four survivors trying to escape his clutches, could well have been great.
But then, perhaps one look at the visuals should have been enough for us all to realise just what to expect.
ACA NEOGEO Sengoku
For the last few months, a whole host of Neo Geo titles have arrived on Xbox One, with the ACA NEOGEO library delivering something for everyone. Unfortunately, that influx of games signalled the arrival of ACA NEOGEO Sengoku, a fighter from the 1990s… and by golly do we wish it had stayed there.
With visuals and mechanics that have aged horrendously, some of the most dull and repetitive gameplay found in the Neo titles and a character switching option that really does bring the pain, Sengoku is the worst of all the retro additions to have made their way to Xbox One.
We’ll give Hamster Corporation a bit of praise for trying to bring the nuts Japanese fighter to the more modern era, but on this occasion, things just haven’t worked out as we would have liked.
Doodle God UE
For a game that promises you everything, it’s a bit strange that at the end of the day all you will remember Doodle God UE for is its one dimensional puzzle solving.
Coming from the mobile scene, perhaps we should have known what to expect with the addition of Doodle God on Xbox One… but then maybe we were hoping that the development team at Joybits would have considered creating a control system that worked wonders on console. Or cut the trial and error of puzzle solving. Or maybe they could have dropped the price to something a bit more reasonable… especially seeing as microtransactions are more than prevalent.
But at the end of the day, none of those things happened and Doodle God UE on Xbox One has been left as a bit of a cash cow that isn’t worth bothering with.
Air Missions: HIND
There are both single player and online multiplayer missions available in Air Missions: HIND, but that doesn’t mean you should be playing it.
You see, when a game arrives on the Xbox Games Store promising to give you the thrill of a lifetime, letting you live out your helicopter pilot fantasies, you would, could and should at the very least expect something with a bit more polish than HIND. But from the dodgy visuals and poor helicopter controls, to some of the worst shooting and aiming mechanics found in a modern day game, at no point does Air Missions let you live out those dreams.
Being able to attach a host of weapons to your flying machines is all well and good, but when the actual gameplay is as boring as hell, you have to ask yourself why you are bothering.
So that’s your lot – the very worst games to have arrived on Xbox One throughout the first half of 2017. Do you own any of the games above? What do you think of them? Are we being too harsh? Have we missed some rubbish out? Let us know your thoughts in the comments below, by posting in our forums or via the power of social media.
Andromeda wasn’t very good, I was bored to death in about an hour
where’s halo wars 2, phantom rust and that locodocougabuga remaster or whatever its name was that got released only because Phil liked it?
I tried HND and everytime I joined an online match my game crashed. Like EVERYTIME!